Ideal working conditions

Posted on Facebook, posting again here.

Just for fun, thought I'd compare the ideal working conditions of my current job as a "teacher" in Japan to what I have now.  Of course I'm very happy to be working and living in Japan, but nothing's ever perfect.  This is NOT a complaint.

1. The Job
Ideal: 1 university (Realistic ideal: 2 high schools)
Current: 2 middle schools (junior high) and 1 elementary school
[*] Kids are cute, but they're cuter when I don't have to try and keep them focused and teaching them.  In university I could teach people who, for the most part, were there to actually learn.  I remember my college Japanese class, I would like to teach English in that sort of setting.

2. Location
Ideal: A city with a population of over a million but less than 2 million.
Current: Kesennuma, population around 70,000
[*] I enjoy the city life a bit more than the rural one.  I like having things to do (bowling, billiards, etc) and plenty of opportunities to meet people.  Not to take away from rural areas, which have their advantages as well, but yeah.

3. Working hours
Ideal: 9:30-5:30
Current: 8-4
[*] With this I could wake up at 9, which means I could go to bed from around 1-2.  Going to bed at around 11 or 12 is hard for me.

4. Commute
Ideal: 5 minute walk
Current: 10 minute drive
[*] I have 3 schools and even the farthest one is just over 10 minutes, but with a 5 minute walk I could do that even when it's too hot or too cold, and could save gas!  I'm all about the environment (and my wallet of course!).

5. Coworkers
Ideal: 1 or 2 that speak decent English, the rest speak to me in Japanese.
Current: 1 or 2 that speak decent English, the rest speak to me in Japanese.
[*] Well this is pretty spot on for me.  Most the English teachers talk to me in English and the rest in Japanese.  It's good for when I need to know important things and also lets me practice my Japanese.  Of course there are the ones here and there that I don't really talk to, but whatever.

6. Students
Ideal: Everyone loves me, loves studying English, wants to talk to me and secretly tries to give me money.
Current: Maybe 1 or 2 students in each class that like English, but are drowned out by the students who could care less.  The students who do tend to like English rarely talk to me, while the ones who don't care about English talk to me way more.  None of the students try to give me money.
[*] Ever seen a Japanese school drama or anime on TV?  Yeah, it's not exactly like those... The money thing was a joke, unless they actually want to give me money, in which case, cash only please!

7. Salary
Ideal: 400,000 yen a month ($4k)
Current: 300,000 yen a month ($3k)
[*] Obviously more is better, but with that salary I could save 1k a month, spend 1k a month, and have 1k a month for trips.

8. Workload
Ideal: Planning 3 lessons a week, one for each grade of junior high.
Current: I do next to nothing in middle school.  The teachers who did let me do some things have moved on to different schools.  I plan a little bit for elementary school, but that's it.
[*] It's a good thing I've found ways to get job satisfaction outside of teaching, because I don't actually do much of that at all.  It is nice in the evenings when I don't have to worry about lesson planning, because being the procrastinator that I am, that's what would be happening.

9. Napping
Ideal: Would be able to take a nap, somewhere in the vicinity of 1 to 3 pm, for about 20 minutes.
Current: While saying I've never dozed off would be a lie (maximum of mere minutes), I'm too scared to be looked unfavorably upon by the teachers for doing so.  I'm not sure I'd ever find out if it were bad or not.  I try not to.
[*] When I was teaching in Korea I was in an office with one other teacher.  He used to take naps and I did too.  That was good times, and I felt much better throughout the day with the nap.

10. Job excitement
Ideal: Just like in the movies, I'd like to save my students from massive yakuza mobs and teach them about life by saving them from the brink of death.  I'd like to have teachers try to kill me, leading to big adventures where everything turns out alright.  I'd like all my coworkers to be hot female teachers who are interested in me. I would like to be involved in a love dodecahedron.
Current: Just about fell asleep in class the other day waiting for the teacher to ask me to pronounce a word in the textbook.  In elementary school I watched a 4th grader throw up his lunch.  I have one hot teacher who isn't interested at all in me.
[*] I really don't think this one is all that much to ask for!  Come on now! 

11. Job title
Ideal: It would be nice to be recognized as a teacher in my contract.
Current: I'm known as the "Foreigner Guidance Assistant" or something to that effect.
[*] My current title is actually pretty appropriate, seeing how little teaching I actually do.  Not to mention my lack of any official document stating that I can in fact teach.

理想【りそう】 (risou) ideal; dream